Just a Thought!!!

What I am writing here is not a story! It’s just a thought, which has often crossed my mind and today I have tried to chain that thought in words!


TRING the alarm clock went out. “Oh! No. It’s already seven,” I cried aloud, and like every morning turned the clock off. It was awful to drag oneself out from bed and that too for a morning walk. ‘Why the hell did God make people fat? And if he did at least he could have given them the concession from health problems.’

Every morning, it looked like an impossible task! What had I not done to get rid of those extra fat tiers? Recently, I had tried my hands on Yoga. At 5’o clock in the morning, when all those careless beauties are fast asleep in bed, we who are dying to be beautiful struggle with sometimes hilarious Yoga postures.

Let me make it very clear, I am not at all a health freak! I am just trying Yoga or just to try on that lehenga-choli, I saw a few days back at Chandni Chowk.
Well, now you must be thinking why have I zeroed down on Lehenga, when so many sexy dresses are available in market? To that I will say that in Indian weddings I have hardly seen girls wearing spaghettis and short skirts.
In a wedding either a sari or a lehenga is a must!

I always ran away from the idea of wearing a sari. It’s not that I don’t like sari but it looks to me that it gives a very grown up look. My friends have coined a hilarious term for it, ‘Aunty Type look.’
But my friend Radhika enlightened me on sari and its hidden secrets.
“Shweta, I can’t understand how can’t you like this gorgeous blue chiffon,” cried Radhika.
“Dear, when did I say that I don’t like it? I just said that I can’t imagine myself in a sari,” I tried to explain.
“But…”
“Radhika, I would rather prefer a lehenga.”
“But sweety, for that you need an hour glass figure. Don’t mind my saying but you are far away from it and my wedding is just a month away.”

Well, in all this I had forgotten to tell you, why I am making all these efforts. Next month, it’s my best friend Radhika’s wedding. And rather worrying about her wedding dress, Radhika is worried about me and my dress.

It’s not entirely her fault! I have been famous for my dress disasters. I still remember, my first year in Delhi University. It was the month of December and the college festival was fast approaching.

Just passed out from school, I lacked that dressing sense, which college kids acquire easily. In my efforts to Glitter and Dazzle, , I got a green colored salwar kameez with heavy sequence work stitched. ( To simplify- It was a typical wedding attire!!)

But you must congratulate me at my daring! I was courageous enough to wear it to the college.
I still remember Radhika’s reaction, “What the hell are you wearing? There is not a wedding in the college. It’s just a college festival!”

“Does it look bad?” I dared to question.

“BAD! Bad is an understatement! It’s just horrible!”

The next thing, I remember that we (Radhika and me) returned home. Radhika made me change into my regular jeans and top, which she considered normal for the fest. Since then, Radhika was my fashion guide. I looked up to her to understand the latest fashion trend.
I have talked lot about the past; let’s jump back into the present, where Radhika was instructing me hard.
“If you are worried about the fact that you will look too old for your age in a sari then, sorry to say you are wrong!” Radhika said. “Look Shweta, there can be nothing more sensuous than a sari.”

I made a wry face and said, “I am not convinced. I don’t find my neighbor Mrs. Reddy sensuous in a sari.”
“Well, may be Mr. Reddy finds her so,” Radhika chuckled.
“So, without wasting anymore time can you be over with this subject?”
“Look, the sari is perfect for Indian woman body type. It hides all those fat tiers and you look slim.”
“But…” I tried to interrupt.

Once Radhika starts no one can stop her.
“Secondly you can experiment!” she declared.
“Experiment??? What’s there to experiment in it? It’s same old sari,” I cried.
I think I shouldn’t have said this. It gave Radhika a chance to start on. I knew that she will be giving an hour speech on this topic!!!!!!
“Oh! Come on Shweta, don’t you watch television. Had anyone heard about Mandira Bedi until she hosted the cricket show, dressed in those pretty saris with noodle strap blouses.”
“Noodle strap blouses??? Come on, I am not going for that.”

“Who is asking you to?? But I tell you they look hot!!! So, it’s the first experiment.”
“And then you can always go for backless blouses or that with strings. And ya halter neck too!! They actually give a dramatic effect and make you look sexy,” Radhika continued.

“Radhika, if you don’t have any problem I want to dress not undress! I hope you understand,” I protested.
“I was just telling you about experimentation. So, there is no end to it!” she chuckled.

I know I can’t beat Radhika in all this. She is just too much. Finally, I surrendered. So, it was decided that I will wear the blue sari with of course No Noodle Strap!

Sometimes I think, ‘Do fat people only have a few choices? If we have to buy a dress then should we always think, what will others think when they will see us wearing it with this figure?’ the constant thought in our mind should be that they have to choose something, which hides those fat layers.’

‘I can’t wear that lehnga-choli because I am fat and people will mock at me! I am forced to choose something, which hides those fat tiers. If I am fat then I am ugly.’

When these thoughts crossed my mind, I decided that I should loose weight and attain that hour glass figure. So, my fitness regime became rigid.

But there was one sudden change in me! I had started hating the way I look- those fat tiers. I shrank from seeing my image in the mirror. I had become so conscious about people looking at me!

One day, after my Yoga session, I was relaxing, sitting on a bench in the park. I was looking around, looking at people. My eyes were caught by a group ladies (must be in there in mid thirties) sitting in circle and giggling. They all look ordinary except one.

I don’t know what was in her that caught my attention but something was different about her. There was radiance, glow and warmth on her face. In a word, she looked stunning!

As I sat looking, her eyes caught mine and she rose. The next moment, she was coming towards me.
“Hey, I am Preeti,” she said, as she sat next to me.
“I am Shweta,” I replied.
“So, you are sweating hard to lose weight,” she said.
“How do you know?” I asked, surprised.
“I see you daily, working hard. And I think its paying off,” she complimented.
“You are just saying it to please me,” I replied with a smile.
“Don’t you really believe that you have lost considerable amount of weight?” she asked

After some thought, I said, “Honestly speaking, it’s true, I believe that. But it’s not me who has to believe! People around me should also feel the same.”

“Tell me Shweta, when you go to a shop for buying a sari- does your opinion and that of the shopkeeper often matches?”
“No!,” I replied.
“Does it even trouble you what he thinks?” she asked.
“No, I don’t even bother!”

“So, why are you troubled with what people think about you?”

Preeti had caught my nerve and I didn’t have any answer.

“Well, I am not pretty like you so I need compliments …” I grumbled.

“Well, I will not be modest and say, ‘No, No, I am not pretty.’ Rather my answer would be, ‘Yes, I know I am pretty,’” said Preeti.
I just stared blankly at her face.

She continued, “You know, Shweta, the key is ‘To love yourself.’

“What does that mean?” I enquired.

“It means that just love the way you are!”

“Its easy saying this all, when you don’t have to worry about the things that I have to!” I blurted out.

“Dear, I think that you didn’t notice that I am as FAT AS YOU ARE!”
She was right, she too was fat was like me! But somehow it escaped my notice. Why I wondered! It wasn’t that she was wearing sack like clothes to hide those fat tiers. Rather she was dressed in tight churidar and kameez, which I wouldn’t have even dared to wear with my figure!

As if she read my thoughts, “It’s because I love the way I am. I can carry anything, giving a damn about what people think! ”
“And that’s it which reflects on your face and you look so radiant!” I completed.
“Wow, that’s the best compliment I have ever got,” said Preeti.
“Everything you said is so right, Preeti!” I cried with happiness.

“I had forgotten what I really loved! I was doing what others wished me to and dressing the way they want me to. Somewhere, Shweta was lost!”

Holding my hand, Preeti said, “Shweta, there is nothing wrong in working out, it’s the healthiest thing for our body! But WORK OUT for your happiness, not for what people will think and say!”

“That’s the golden rule! I will never forget it!”

That day, I went to Chandni Chowk and headed straight to the shop, where I had seen that lehnga choli. I hesitated to enter, thinking how it will look on me! But the next moment, I remembered Preeti’s words, “Love yourself!”

A week later, at Radhika’s wedding, I recieved the following compliments, ‘Shweta, you look gorgeous in this outfit!’
‘Where did you buy this dress from? It just suits you.’

When Radhika looked at me, she was shocked. She cried, “I can’t believe, since when you got such a good dressing sense. You proved me wrong!”
When we two were alone, Radhika said, “Idiot, you didn’t tell me! Who is the lucky guy?”
“Wait, wait…. Where are you jumping off to? There is no lucky guy and I am not dating anyone.”
“Then, what is the mystery behind the glow, and radiance on your face!”
“I guess Make up,” I joked.
“May be. But something has changed!” Radhika managed to utter before we heard the Barat approaching and her attention was caught there.
Well I don’t know will I ever be able to explain Radhika that it is I who has changed. Changed for better, for a better self!


Nihasha
copyright 2009